Apologies for the delay, my friends, but here I am again to continue this magical journey through the depths of first-time-writer’s Hell. Now, where did I leave off? Oh, yeah…
Right, so, last chapter Edward and Bella were sitting in Edward’s car, in Bella’s driveway, up until the moment when Bella’s dad drove up, with another car coming along with him, carrying Jacob and his dad, Billy. Edward tears off before anybody really notices. All except for Billy. And here we are.
“This is a surprise,” Charlie was saying.
“It’s been too long,” Billy answered. “I hope it’s not a bad time.” His dark eyes flashed up to me again, their expression unreadable.
I don’t think you need to read eyes in order to read body language. As was expressed by the last couple of sentences in the last chapter, it seemed like Billy noticed Edward, and he didn’t seem pleased. Remember, this is also the man who’s been telling his son that their tribe is a bunch of werewolves, and the Cullens are a bunch of vampires. I’m pretty positive Billy’s body language says, “Hey. You’re getting into trouble. Knock it off.”
Billy made a face at his son. “And, of course, Jacob was anxious to see Bella again,” he added. Jacob scowled and ducked his head while I fought back a surge of remorse. Maybe I’d been too convincing on the beach.
Oh, sure, NOW you’re starting to feel bad. Of course it only ever happens when it comes to bite you in the ass, doesn’t it?
“Are you hungry?” I asked, turning toward the kitchen. I was eager to escape Billy’s searching gaze.
“Naw, we ate just before we came,” Jacob answered.
“How about you, Charlie?” I called over my shoulder as I fled around the corner.
“Sure,” he replied, his voice moving in the direction of the front room and the TV.
Wait a minute, there’s a problem with all of this here. What was it Bella mentioned back in chapter 1? Oh, yeah…
“Mom’s fine. It’s good to see you, too, Dad.” I wasn’t allowed to call him Charlie to his face.
Huh. And yet here you’ve just called him Charlie. He seemed pretty cool with it, too. Is this some kind of a weird mistake? Maybe nobody was thinking to hard about it at that moment in time. Maybe it just slipped out of Bella’s mouth, and maybe Charlie was just thrilled to have company. Or maybe it’s because Bella was “fleeing around the corner” that it doesn’t quite count as “calling him Charlie to his face”. I’m not sure, I can’t really tell.
As Bella cooks, Jacob follows, and they talk about how she was hanging out with Edward. Jacob laughs and realizes his dad is being goofy and superstitious.
“You don’t think he’d say anything to Charlie?” I couldn’t help asking, the words coming out in a low rush.
Jacob stared at me for a moment, and I couldn’t read the expression in his dark eyes.
Wow, you’re really sucking at the whole reading eyes thing, aren’t you? Why don’t you try reading facial expressions or body language for a change? Is it not obvious by his temporary silence that Jacob’s a bit bothered by your asking in some way? You flirted him into having a crush on you, and now here he is in your home having to listen to you talk about another boy whom you’re obviously having a hard time controlling your gushing over. How do you THINK that’s gonna make him feel, huh? Stop trying to read eyes already, you’re blowing it.
They all spend the evening in the living room together. Jacob and dad leave. Bella’s dad stops her and talks to her a bit, wonders why she didn’t ask Mike to the dance.
“Oh yeah,” he muttered. The he smiled at me apologetically. “So I guess it’s good you’ll be gone Saturday… I’ve made plans to go fishing with the guys from the station. The weather’s supposed to be real warm. …
Oh! Well isn’t THAT convenient! The very day Bella needs to come up with some excuse so that her dad doesn’t really know where she is or who she’s with, her dad suddenly has to be busy that exact same day. Glad to know there won’t be any conflict or repercussions to worry about. Wouldn’t want any drama or tension in this story. It’s much easier to swallow this way.
Bella sleeps. She wakes up. Edward picks her up to take her to school again.
I didn’t hesitate this time, climbing in the passenger side quickly, the sooner to see his face. He grinned his crooked smile at me, stopping my breath and my heart. I couldn’t imagine how an angel could be any more glorious. There was nothing about him that could be improved upon.
I can think of a few things I’d improve. First, I’d give him a pulse so that he would have a higher body temperature, something I happen to like when holding a man close. Secondly, I’d ask that he have courtesy for my personal privacy, whether it’s overhearing things I’m saying to other people or reading people’s thoughts in order to learn more about me. I’d also make him stop manipulating me and my decisions by using crafty words and flirty gestures. But I guess not everybody is concerned with such changes.
He wanted to know about people today: more about Renee, her hobbies, what we’d done in our free time together. And then the one grandmother I’d known, my few school friends – embarrassing me when he asked about boys I’d dated.
And guess how many of those things we actually get to learn about? Just one – the boys thing. Which is still basically like learning nothing, because she apparently was never interested in anybody before ever. But just like the times previously where we heard about Edward asking Bella all kinds of questions, all we ever get to hear about are the questions, but never the answers. It’s incredibly unfulfilling.
Edward realizes he should have let Bella drive to school that day, since he and his sister Alice would be leaving after lunch.
He frowned at me impatiently. “I’m not going to make you walk home. We’ll go get your truck and leave it here for you.”
“I don’t have my key with me,” I sighed. “I really don’t mind walking.” What I minded was losing my time with him.
He shook his head. “Your truck will be here, and the key will be in the ignition – unless you’re afraid someone might steal it.” He laughed at the thought.
“All right,” I agreed, pursing my lips. I was pretty sure my key was in the pocket of a pair of jeans I wore Wednesday, under a pile of clothes in the laundry room. Even if he broke into my house, or whatever he was planning, he’d never find it. He seemed to feel the challenge in my consent. He smirked, overconfident.
Whoa, okay there. This just gets increasingly weirder and weirder. So, Edward insists. Bella barely tries to convince him she’d be fine walking. Then she agrees fairly casually. It sounds as though she’s totally cool with the Cullens driving her truck (which they’ve done once before already), and is even more cool with the idea of the Cullens breaking into her house and rooting through her home and, most specifically, her dirty laundry in order to find a key – a very small item in the grand scheme of things, might I add.
Oh, and it’s skipping ahead a few pages but, yeah, he delivers the truck with the key. And Bella thinks very little of it. She’s hardly phased by it. She wonders if she’d forgotten she’d left the key hanging in a more obvious place. But, hello, excuse me you dolt, but that still means that he BROKE INTO YOUR HOUSE. Why is this okay? Just… Why is this okay?
Edward is planning on hunting tonight, that way he won’t be hungry for Bella the next day. They talk more about their plans.
“Will Charlie be there?”
“No, he’s fishing tomorrow.” I beamed at the memory of how conveniently things had worked out.
Hey! Hey, book! Just because you acknowledge the fact that your writing appears too terribly convenient to be true doesn’t mean that it makes it okay to write lazily like that! Stop it!
Edward explains how most of his family aside from Alice don’t seem to understand Edward’s attraction to Bella.
Edward shook his head slowly, rolling his eyes toward the ceiling before he met my gaze again. “I told you – you don’t see yourself clearly at all. You’re not like anyone I’ve ever known. You fascinate me.”
Bella, tell me you aren’t falling for this. You know why you fascinate him, right? It’s only because you’re the only person whose mind he can’t read. Otherwise, you’re a completely dull, drab individual, and your blood smells tasty. He isn’t actually interested in you. He’s frustrated that he can’t read your mind, and he likewise also can’t eat you. This isn’t something you want from another person, I promise.
“I have a better than average grasp of human nature. People are predictable. But you… you never do what I expect. You always take me by surprise.”
Duh, that’s because you can’t read her mind! Otherwise, I haven’t seen her do a single surprising thing. She otherwise stays at home, cooks, reads, and trips over her own shoelaces. Has anyone else here seen anything about Bella that’s particularly “surprising”?
Suddenly Rosalie, his blond and breathtaking sister, turned to look at me. No, not to look – to glare, with dark, cold eyes. I wanted to look away, but her gaze held me until Edward broke off mid-sentence and made an angry noise under his breath. It was almost a hiss.
The last sentence there makes me incredibly frustrated that this is a blog and not a video. Otherwise I’d be showing you the huge list of sounds I’m coming up with in my head that are almost, but not exactly, a hiss. Seriously, this could be any number of noises. Is it a heavy breath? Does it include his voice? What kind of a face was being made with it? Was there a lot of teeth, or was his jaw dropped open? What exactly makes it ALMOST a hiss, anyway?
Edward tells Bella that things could be bad if the two of them are public together and then things end badly. That could mean any number of things right now, I’m sure, but basically Bella takes it to heart. Edward introduces Bella to Alice. Then the two vampires leave for the day.
I intuitively knew – and sensed he did, too – that tomorrow would be pivotal. Our relationship couldn’t continue to balance, as it did, on the point of a knife. We would fall off one edge or the other, depending entirely upon his decision, or his instincts. My decision was made, made before I’d ever consciously chosen, and I was committed to seeing it through. Because there was nothing more terrifying to me, more excruciating, than the thought of turning away from him. It was an impossibility.
Wow, you really are a high school teenage girl who has never fallen for anybody before, aren’t you? Here’s a hint – if you two break up, you won’t die. I promise. I know it’ll hurt all bad and stuff, but then later on you’ll be like, “Man, that relationship was dumb.”
Bella starts telling people that not only is she not going to the dance, but she’s not going to be with Edward, either. And neither of them are going out of town anymore. She just keeps lying to people, thinking it’ll make the situation better.
This is where we get to the part where Edward delivered the truck to school. It’s stupid.
When I got home, the handle of the door was locked, the deadbolt unclocked, just as I’d left it this morning. In side, I went straight to the laundry room. It looked just the same as I’d left it, too. I dug for my jeans and, after finding them, checked the pockets. Empty.
DUH, THEY’RE EMPTY! Even if your key was in your pants pocket earlier, it isn’t going to be there now because YOU CURRENTLY ARE HOLDING THE KEY! They left it in the ignition of your car! DON’T BE STUPID!
So now Bella goes around screwing up perfect plans. She tells her dad that she’s just going to stay home rather than going to Seattle. Uh, why would you do that? He obviously seemed cool with you going. What do you need to add another lie on top of that for? You know, the more you change your story around, the more it’s going to sound suspicious. On top of that, you’re going to start forgetting what your lies were. I should know. I’ve made some pretty outlandish, foolish lies in my day.
Several paragraphs go by in which Bella does laundry and thinks about Edward, followed by trying to fall asleep while thinking about Edward. It’s all rather vomit-inducing.
The next day comes. Edward comes to get Bella. Bella drives them in her truck. They go out to a forest. They hike five miles. Bella tells Edward that nobody knows where they are or that they’re together. Edward is pissed. He doesn’t really give a reason. It’s confusing.
He turned then, with a mocking smile, and I stifled a gasp. His white shirt was sleeveless, and he wore it unbuttoned so that the smooth white contours of his chest, his perfect musculature no longer merely hinted at behind concealing clothes. He was too perfect, I realized with a piercing stab of despair. There was no way this godlike creature could be meant for me.
Something about this is really disgusting. Sure, what girl just starting to get a grip on puberty doesn’t want to stop and marvel at a good-looking man every so often? But at the same time, good lord, this book so constantly nearly crosses over into pornographic details, it’s ridiculous. I sometimes wish Meyer would stop every couple of paragraphs and try to write a story somewhere.
For the most part, we walked in silence. Occasionally he would ask a random question that he hadn’t gotten to in the past two days of interrogation. He asked about my birthdays, my grade school teachers, my childhood pets – and I had to admit that after killing three fish in a row, I’d given up on the whole institution.
So, again, only one question about her is answered, and it’s an incredibly boring answer. Did she have any pets prior to the goldfish? Whatever, it doesn’t matter, she’s boring and has never had and will never have any pets ever since or ever again. Lame.
Amazingly, after five miles of hiking, this ridiculously gorgeous meadow pops up in the middle of the freaking Northwestern rain forest. It’s incredibly unrealistic-sounding, but here we go:
I reached the edge of the pool of light and stepped through the last fringe of ferns into the loveliest place I had ever seen. The meadow was small, perfectly round, and filled with wildflowers – violet, yellow, and soft white. Somewhere nearby, I could hear the bubbling music of a stream. The sun was directly overhead, filling the circle with a haze of buttery sunshine. I walked slowly, awestruck, through the soft grass, swaying flowers, and warm, gilded air.
It’s just… I seriously have my doubts. Really? A place that sunny with such strikingly different beauty to that of all of the rest of Western Washington?
Only then did I remember what the beauty of the meadow had driven from my mind – the enigma of Edward and the sun, which he’d promised to illustrate for me today.
Wow! Something actually managed to make Bella forget temporarily about something regarding Edward! There might indeed be hope after all! …Eh, maybe I’d better not get my hopes up.
Edward seemed to take a deep breath, and then he stepped out into the bright glow of the midday sun.
Oh no! The chapter ends here!? What could possibly happen!? Is Edward going to explode into tiny sun-fried bits!? Could the story really be over!?
Well… no. We’re only halfway through the book. And I’m pretty sure you all know what happens next as Edward waltzes into the sunlight. Get ready, folks, because the next chapter is officially Stephenie Meyer’s wet dream. As in, seriously, the next chapter is the dream that Meyer had that spawned the idea to write the entirety of the book. The next chapter is what you’re all waiting to rage over. Be looking forward to Chapter 13, Confessions.